After recently a puppy
joint our household once again it proved that from the moment we are born we
have been predestined and taught how to manipulate. All small kids (the same
goes for puppies) use basically 24 hours per day to watch, observe and
consequently ‘calculate’ what is good for them and how to achieve it.
Well, assuming that is
so and also knowing that manipulation has a bad reputation, how could we
distinguish manipulation from a persuasion (does not have a bad reputation)
that we use as well?
In my view a manipulation is, by definition, a form of persuasion and vice versa. Might be that manipulation is more of a short-term strategy, but consequently, manipulation and persuasion are all about getting someone to do something that you want them to do. Isn’t it?
From persuasion point
of view I would say that it distinguishes from manipulation in a small detail: influencing
someone because of something that is ‘good’ for the person or, better said that
the person may be persuaded to perceive such doing as beneficial or good.
Therefore, in this relation the trust in the persuader is the fundamental
element for the effective persuasion. And trust is mostly missing or abused in
manipulation.
My primary working
duties include teaching and mentoring on graduate and post graduate levels. Therefore,
most of my time is spent inspiring others to achieve their goal – a degree. Hence,
I have to motivate, encourage and challenge my students so that they are able to
reach their potential on the exams and/or written and oral performances. Whenever
possible I try to persuade the students by tackling their inner self rather
than manipulate by bad grading.
Does this kind of persuasion
work?
On the long run it
definitively pays off. Influencing through manipulation is much weaker than the
one through persuasion. My past students proved me right on several occasions
when we met again. For the persuasion to work out you also need to follow some
‘rules: recognize the abilities, skills and strengths of others; publicly
praise them and encourage others to act; encourage positive behavior in others
as well; as a teacher I have to ‘persuade’ students to put energy towards theirs’
goal(s). The final goal - a degree does certainly not assure a job,
nevertheless it enables it as a degree demonstrates that one is capable of
successfully finishing a long term “project”. And here we touch leadership.
Is ‘manipulation’ associated
with leadership?
Well, never in a good
way. Leaders that use manipulation I would hardly consider leaders. But they do
exist now and throughout our history. For me the basic differentiation between
leadership and manipulation lies in how a leader motivates other people’s
behavior: with brain or with heart – ‘without or within’ is how on Far East
would say!
Hence, great leaders demonstrate
their great leadership within their organizations as well as in their environment
and are usually never seen as manipulators. They guide others with authenticity,
transparency and generosity.
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